Better off

You know I never meant for it to end that way
but you see I'm not always myself these days
and you were someone
I just couldn't stand being two faced around

That doesn't mean everything that happened wasn't real
cause you don't miss apparitions
and I do
miss talking to you sometimes

But I let those other things in the way
those things that tighten the gap between man and ape
Those primordial inclinations
Which made me cut off my right hand
To preserve the left

It's no consolation but I was trying to protect you too
and it's hard to delicately shield another person
from yourself
I feel like the bridges I burned were in some part necessary
but still, I can't help wishing
there was a way to see across the divide

And so now months later I do feel the void
like a phantom limb
And I keep expecting it to be there
but when I look, its just free space

I don't know if you still come around here to see whats happening
in my screwed up head
but if there is any bitterness on your end
I want to say there is none on mine
You are better off now than then
So I guess in that way I achieved what I set out to do
a success despite myself

God, it's no wonder I'm not with someone
Why should anybody go through that
I'm sorry, really