Playground politics

Why is it
that everyone
is well versed on every subject?

"Killer Whales are hyper intelligent
pack animals

That's why they killed the trainer"

says an anonymous commenter
who I can only assume
enjoyed high school Biology more than Chemistry

I wonder if the now deceased
diver
knew their instinctual habits
and if she could have prevented her own death
with this information.

Everything is over reported
and everything is blown out of proportion

We are all just products
of too much positive reinforcement
from our parents who had too much
of the negative

See saw, see saw
Playground politics

A cycle like the seasons

A name become paralysis
both chokehold
and savior

Too far gone

This is it, you know
The sad ending to another pointless feeling

The sudden sunset to a tumultuous day
spurred by the fumbling idiocy
of my own mouth
and warped mind

There are a lot of good reasons to pay no attention to me
but the best one is if
I pay too much attention to you.

Never be too kind to an awkward person
I'll just end up confusing it
and abusing you.

It's only February

Tonight I took a step out
the front door
to a world
shrouded in fog

The air was a dream
and nearly silent
nearly
because the freeway is never silent

Up the near street to a tiny park
the moisture turning
3 foot light posts
into bright monoliths of hope

I could not see the sky
but it was there
and that's like so many things
these days

But not being able to see down a street
is secondary to knowing it already
and I'm already familiar
with the path
i'm on now

Fog used to be so depressing
now it's
just an accent
to
a
beautiful cold night

When I sit alone
I find that I only comprehend the possibilities
through a cloudy mire
of uncertainty

And under a gazebo
well lit and dry
above my neighborhood
just out of sight
from my house

I think again of all the things
I cannot see
but am still confident
they are there

This Valentine's day post will not be depressing

This Valentine's Day poem will not be depressing
because I'm just not right now
Because I have hope
if not in a girl
in something else
I'll pop in the same films
I watch every Valentine's Day
Remember we talked about them that one night?
I said I loved that part where
it's snowing and he smiles
you said you loved the part where he's crying
I guess that's what I find so fascinating about you
Even sitting on a couch half asleep
you contradict me
with a smile

Tomorrow I'll watch that film and now
when I'm watching him smile
and cry
I'll only think of us talking about it
and not what it's supposed to make me feel.
Remember you said you couldn't watch films like that anymore
because you didn't like having your emotions manipulated?
I bet you had your heart broken
I don't know your past
but I bet there was a time you felt differently.

I wanted to argue that point
but you were right.
I'd much rather feel something while watching a film
because something happened to me
and not because I'm a puppet.

We aren't puppets and that's what makes love and real life so exciting
we aren't puppets and that's why-

That's why
Even though I'm going to be alone
I won't be lonely
this Valentine's Day.

Two blankets

The night before it's going to rain
is unique
it's beautiful, wind wisp brown hair
gorgeous dark, clear
tumultuous and un predictable

but always unique
I live my life on the margin of day before rain
and the storm

The storm is great but it's all over so fast
the day before a storm is the infatuation
the build up
the sizing up
just watching you lying there, shuttering eyes
content
with our without me it turns out

But that's the rainstorm
I think about the day before
not the calm before the storm
because I was not surprised

The day before a storm wraps herself up
and is not cold
and if you really love the day before a storm
like i do
you wait with it until time runs out
You'll endure because
you can't be outside when it's raining

Oh my feet were so cold
but inside I was burning up

Time is our most uncaring enemy

The skeeziest guys don't sleep half as bad as I do

Our breaths pushed themselves into the air
pushed themselves to condensation
white vapors like a field of hot springs
on dry last days in January
dry for many reasons
not the least of which was
my own insecurity
cracked and scarred as it is
thirsty
I was feeling full though
from your breath
I felt full
The drums hobbling along
feet tap
tall kids waltz
with short fairy sprites
I stood alone
because as nourishing as you felt to me
I was not the one quenching you
I know him
I knew this
this is no surprise to me
you do love him
whether or not it admitting it was brought about
by whiskey and drugs
you love him
and I knew this
still I let myself drag on
rope tied around my neck dragging me through dark empty streets
of old ethnic neighborhoods
that our grandparents probably knew in much harder times
I let you fall asleep
I let you talk to me
my eyes deceived me
they told me what I was looking at was beauty
just as my mind played the image over and over
like a loop on tape
but this is the digital age
completely objective and cold
cold like my feet and yours
cold like my back when I was facing the fire
and cold like my front as I left your front steps
It was five in the morning and the sun was not up
while I coaxed extra miles from my thirsty green truck
And I coaxed out remembrance from you days later
memories i recalled not because I wasn't drunk
but because you were in them.
I drank from you again
but the well ran dry
You do love him
and I knew this.
So now tonight, I think i'll dehydrate myself on cheap alcohol
but I wont forget
I can't drink to forget
because drinking wont separate your image from old memory
it'll just damage the new ones.