Facebook events

The trouble with agreeing to be there
is the a crisis of availability.
Because I can go
will I go
The answer should be yes
but I want to say no.

The trouble with inviting people through facebook
is a loss of effort.
There was a time when going somewhere
mattered.
It mattered enough to have to call or mail invites
to the people you wanted to be there,
You had to acknowledge them
so they could acknowledge you

So today, at any given time
I am invited to 5 things
from 5 people
who only want to know
yes
no
maybe

Do you like me?
yes
no
maybe

And it's like being in school again
not important
not elegant.

Not everything will change your life
not every night was the best night
not every part was the best party
its just another one

They're called events
but they are
a grind.

Concrete support structures

"I feel like i have to like LA because if I don't, nobody will"
he said
with anger
with compassion
and it's true
nobody loves you
LA

New York is fantastic
and full of life
and flavor

San Francisco is
beautiful
and clean
and classic

Chicago
is the crown
of the midwest

But LA
is just LA
and it isn't
any of those things
But maybe
that's ok
maybe

LA is the flawed
family member
the down on it's luck friend
the oft forgotten
awkward
step child
of world cities

But it is real
it breathes
not with the sigh of mixed cultures
or passion of political past
but it burns
with its wide reaching
sprawl
it takes on the weight of more people
than of which live in it's borders
LA is not LA
but all of Southern California

It is all encompassing
rich and poor
glitz and murmur
legal and illegal
fake smiles
and dirty faces
LA is everything that it is
and it bears it for anyone to see

For all the talk of its surface
the heart of LA is where the beauty is
to watch the city at rush hour
arteries clogged
with the life blood of a region
everyone looking at the towers
the graffiti
the smog
the signs
and the abandoned factories.

LA is the past
and the present
without preservation
or kid gloves
it exists in all times

It holds much
and strains from the weight

That is why he loved LA
because LA is burdened
and alone;

Like so many of those under
it's care.

The girls who are artists

The girls who are artists
are the girls who are the most lost
and all the things they ever wanted
are in the chalk dusted pad

The boys with the journals
are the boys who never were included
in those girls dreams
and all the longing for them
was in cramp inducing poetry

These girls
these boys
they never meet
they just stare at each other as they pass

Red lights
felt canvas oil paintings
warm spirits
cold cigarettes

too much time alone

Too much time missing out
too little time moving on

the boys and the girls
they never succeed
when all they do is want success

I saw a car drive off the road
this morning
and a large man with a beard ran to help
two other cars stopped
and i wondered how my life would have changed
if i'd just pulled over

Squeezing water out of rocks

I stopped writing
for over a year
and some months
and a few days

I started writing
when I was 18
and some months
and a few days

It poured out of me then
just gushed out
of holes
like
my head had been a very old mountain
with a glacier
and it was the warmest summer
in 10,000 years

And the words continued to flow
for years
for 6 years
and some months
and a few days

And it was as if
last year
the very old mountain
was now barren
of glacial ice
and what was left behind
was dull grey conglomerate
rock

And no words came
for a year and some months and a few days
nothing came




But today

it felt like something might be left
like i still had a purpose
like i still had something to say

As if despite the dry weather
my will to pour out
will draw water
from dry rocks

Until there is just sand