A bluer shade of pale

Skipping out of mind
things yet to be known
and still
14-24, sooner a decade
not under the influence
but hiding from it

Cold nights, colder still
even colder than that
Warmth in a smile
and flash of the eyes

But walking around aimlessly
reading, writing
no guidance
or satisfaction

Thinking only of one thing
constantly thinking of only one thing
Sickening, pathetic
desperate for affection

And a couple walking by at lunch
in the eve
stopping
leaning in for a kiss
innocent, love filled
not lust, not selfish
not a game
nor lie

Look away,
these nights my skin turns
a bluer shade of pale