And how did i just sit there and take it?
Not two feet away from two people i cared for
In the arms of their lovers
In the thoughts of their others
In the eyes of their beholders
You know how to feel alone in a crowd,
Its simple really, I'm certainly a pro by now
stand as close as possible to the newly impossible
so close you can smell them
so close you could touch them
so close you can hear them
the lovely, little poems
that come straight from part of your heart
that empties when you're sure she's the one
The same exact place, in fact
as the dank, dark, damp, destructive,
lyrics of late night anger and furious outburst
or close to it I imagine.
But instead of walking away,
I stood there and took it
the same way I sit here now and take it
by getting use to, no accepting, no enjoying
my lonesome life and long desert road of a future it implys
But i'm being irrational now
that was years ago now
the last time I saw my best friends
in repressed depression
or any capacity really.
No what i'm really crying for
what i'm really wishing for
or any number of fanciful words for pining
Is that moment when i finally see this rusty old vessel
reverse its course from the depths of the abyssal black hole
of selfish cynicism and quiet numbness
that promises to envelope what little love I have left
At least when i stood there and took it
Some small piece of me was still fighting for my own well being.
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