Separation

I want to wake up
to begin anew
in a day
that hasn't been
for years

To remember you chasing me
through the house
smiling
young
confident
happy
and remember how that ended
I got stitches in my head
but for me
that is still a good memory

But memories are long since passed
like the light from stars
in the blackest nights
stars which are dead

And we marvel
and wonder
at the good times
floating above our heads
every single night
The constellations
comforting us
like the feeling of having
my parents together sleeping
20 feet away

But light has no substance
and the stars which supernova'd
before time began
though they may comfort us today
are only hollow reminders of better times

And at some point
we must move on

But i'm afraid
that if I lost the comfort my dreams might also fade
into the vastness of space
upon which
they were first created

And now
so few things feel safe
because 20 feet away
nobody was happy
but they kept right on shining

Not yet gone
and I feel like i'm sitting on the doctors table
when I was three years old
screaming and crying
while the doctor sewed my forehead

I never wanted to hate you
not even when you chased me and I hurt myself
because I loved you
and you loved me
but now
it seems like
you're forcing me to

And I wish I could wake up
and be three
just to get
it back