The ups and downs of a perfect day

What is wrong with letting a whole day pass
my birthday
blue and clear
from the apex of the 2 freeway
i could see the ocean
and i said
"today is perfect"
with a slight headache
and unstable feeling
that only a hangover can give you
but with the window down i felt cured
we both did
a little bit
we walked across a bridge with painted ivy
to cover up the tags
of feral humans
the solution
of society
to cover up
what we prefer not to think of
a rusty salon chair was on the porch
of a tiny wooden house
with a weeded dried out lawn
paint chipping
glass yellowing along the frames
and not a soul in sight
and later by the reservoir
looking down at the green grass
too green
while young families tossed all manner of sports
around
and you hunched over
cause we thought of that day when you lost it
because you lost your grandpa
and I really should have let it go
but couldn't because
that was the closest we ever came
to letting each other go
but eventually you perked up
like you always do
and we threw away
our plastic cups and walked back to the car
while a woman with gardening gloves drove a wooden stake into the ground
and my mind felt aerated
just letting everything I heard and saw and smelled
into my being
and it stayed with me while we slept for hours and hours
so that when we woke up
I finally felt older
than the rainy day
before

The wisdom of age while eating breadsticks at Olive Garden

An open letter to ambition:

don't believe me
because I don't know
what it is I want
and who does?

What I want
is the aftertaste of a grapefruit
bitter, fleeting
inexplicable

You pick at me
for a laugh
and embarrassingly
I just have to take it
while you enjoy your meal

Poke at me all you want
she's going to be mine
no matter what you think
or say
or what "wisdom" is contained in your
peach fuzzed head

You two laugh
and privately complain
I laugh and privately
silently
hope

I move up
you plateau or diminish

At some point
I will have the high ground
what then,
will you say to me
red faced and aging
what then?