What used to be

You are so fragile
you are the petal of
a glass vase

Its so hard to be delicate
around you

to feel shattered when you crack sooner.

It's like I am made of glass
but you are made of ice

I am so sorry i cracked you
for so many years.

I was foolish
but half the time i didn't know

I wish you could have told me then.
But,
many a difference
would have been invited

You were caught betwixt
myself, ego, insecurity
A flourishing mess
a soup of desire and despair

You were always there for me
a solid place
in liquid time

But i eroded you
unbeknownst to me

but known to you

And now
I know.

I know you say you couldnt hate me, but you did
and i didnt know it

I thought you loved me
I thought that by giving you part of me
You could get some of what you wanted
and i could get some of what i wanted

But neither of us got what we wanted.

Now we do
we have each other
fully and completely

We have the sun in july now
we had clouds and night before.

But i have a hard time forgetting what used to be