The sun looked a nuclear explosion as the sand blurred past my feet
stinging my face and covering the ground like a fog in the color of my skin
I stood looking at the future
an outline of mountains I could barely make out
and the expanse of ocean separating me from it
And she sees the same thing I think
Here we are
Two tiny sea turtles
Staring at the waves curling like a clenching fist
And the dark blue waters are deep and unpredictable
We want so badly to leave behind this beach
But with every step I take toward the receding foam
my toes tense and grip the soil
They don't want to leave the comfort of solid ground
Not because I'll miss it
But because I'm afraid I might drown by myself
And she is quite the opposite
Not fearing the journey
But of leaving everything behind
So instead we are idle
Wishing upon wishing
that the goal were only a bit easier to see
That I had someone to go with me
That she could abandon hers
I look over and I can see she remembers the time she swam far out
close enough to see her destination
and perhaps it scared her
I remember the time I waded farther, then farther
but when my feet could no longer touch the ground I panicked
When we returned home
our insides felt sick
because we could not belong here anymore
Instead, our hearts were left at the apex of our aborted attempts
Time forgets failure and I've had plenty of it
I know that staying wont bring me the help I want
and maybe her desire will mature into resolve
The ocean is ever in motion and the mountains are always obscured
It is not about waiting for the right time anymore
But taking a chance on ourselves
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