Self diagnosed insanity wont stand up in court

I thought your voice had left me
for good
Silent though it's been

And my heart jumped
like an Olympic athlete
right into my trachea

I don't know why
It wouldn't change a damn thing

It would just be change

Something i'm surprised to be frightened of
when really it's all I'm looking for these days

And what's that called?
A longing for stasis and dynamism
simultaneously

Insanity
I'm insane
Self diagnosed thank you very much

I thought I missed your voice
but my heart
jumped out completely a while ago

I think I miss it more