Paradise lost/regained

Something pushing behind my eyes
a pressure
getting worse
To be something
or
do something

Just something

To have more go right
than wrong

to be that unlikely story
to be the blind fish
who live in dark caves

Who gave up their eyesight
for immortality

and what would i give?

What scares me the most:
I don't know

That darkness
is so looming
and dense
like an oil slick

It chokes me
stops my words

I'm afraid i'm not good enough.

They say those fish in caves,
evolved separately
over millions of years
losing their color
their eyes
any semblance of their old life.

They took something common
and made it spectacular.

And which brave fish
all those eons ago
jumped from the clear mountain stream
into hell

And if i had to rule in hell
would I too
lose heaven?

Who knows
They always admire the brave ones
the stubborn ones

The fish who gave up everything
for a little freedom.