My suburban epic

I

Settling in and restlessness follows
Don't hate your life
change it

No copying, no fretting
someday things might work out
(no guarantees as well)

Life as a ballet
pirouetting around the cafe
dress up for no reason
A dress code at work
is dressing up for no reason

What's the occasion?

How much perspective can a quarter century provide
most of it spent in suburbs
so little material
for art
ha!

I can weave in and out of great sayings and prose for eternity,
At best, the influence is like dust on my jacket.

II

The plastic rumble of trashcans being pulled across a driveway
is serenity here
it is the zen of gated communities
Speedbumps and fences and pool keys
Are penance for sins
not yet commited

The religion of suburbia
is suburbia
Waking up to the buzzy chain drive of a garage door
and watching mid-level luxury cars line up for the long commute

Lexus is the chariot of our champions
Mercedes, valued more than many fine steeds
Waxed on weekends
while kids splash and make noise in
over chlorinated pools
that claim 5ft is the deep end

There's an ocean of near infinite abyss
they may only hear of in passing

III

Doubt is a powerful foe

He works the body
all week
when the moment is right
and the pain is dull

THWAP!

A sucker punch to the face
In the form of an insult
It's hard to take criticism from
a faceless, nameless, gutless
tactless,
information superhighway
troll

So much of the computer screen is white
but there is no purity to be found here
Only victimless crimes

Lies and truth kitted together
as one tapestry informing the world
A world lost unto itself
Everybody knows everything

Maybe so many are so sad
because they discovered how disappointing
"Reality" really is

The gospel according to Google
and all the reasons I am fearful of failure
Doubting Thomas must be
the patron saint of the Information age

IV

Love is a game of hide and seek
I just hope I haven't counted too long
and lost all chance of finding it

I know, I know

I don't feel sorry for myself
Nobody likes that in a young man

But hear me out
Allow me to describe it from a true outsiders perspective

There is a confidence
exuded in some of the elderly
oft mistaken for stubbornness
They make moves
only deliberately
they say things with little thought
of impact
They could care less about what anyone else thinks

Behind the years of wear and tear
they figured out that it's not what everyone thinks
that is important
they know it's impossible to please all people all the time

but anybody who's ever had a kind grandmother
or gentle grandfather
knows they'd love you with the same propensity
for the rest of the worlds opinion

Here's another reason

When one who has loved
has finally lost
there is a tangible piece of them
that is visibly gone
A crack in their cup
which leaks
all the time

without fail, when love fails
so does a positive outlook on life

How much more affirming must it be
to have that missing piece

A strength I know nothing about
One which I envy and have not possessed

I may be whole

But those in love are greater than the sum of their parts
and there are few miracles so obvious as that

V

Despite the lacking

There is beauty left in life
And in that I am grateful

My name is my own
whether or not I make one for myself
in other's eyes

There are things I may miss
and others which will surprise
But the suburbs will never keep me
So this is my ode to that which blandly entraps me
tonight.