God, its dark, its late

When you're in the mood to create
Its like reaching into a box
and finding the thing you wanted most
Looking at the shiny object
In complete admiration
and telling yourself in a quiet voice
its time i match or surpass it
And staring at a blank canvas
wishing it were wet
With blood, sweat, tears
and long lost fears
Of doubts and insecurities never ending
My pride and joy and bane in one
Morose feelings and cynical stammers
Sense of longing for sense of belonging
and giving my 2 cents
Making sense of life through someones eyes
When I'm in the mood to create